Flaws and All
By Robin Volker"To err is
human." Never has a saying been any truer. Some of us have a strong need to see ourselves as perfect for fear we will not be loved and accepted if flawed. We often have a strong
need to see our parents and authority figures as perfect as well. But people are people. We are living a human experience that often overshadows or hides our
divinity. None of us can claim perfection or even anything close to it.  Every one of us has been guilty of a misdeed or wrong step. We each have personality traits or
behaviors that can be difficult points for others to deal with. We may not like to think this to be true, but it is true nevertheless. These character traits
may affect us in minor, annoying ways or they may cause severe disconnect within our families and relationships. What do we do with these unattractive qualities,
personality excesses, or harmful habits? Healthy individuals are fully aware that they have shortcomings. They even make no particular effort
to hide from the fact. When they do something wrong, they admit it, they recognize specifically what they did wrong, they choose a better alternative, and then, they move on.
Not only do healthy people realize that they have flaws, but they see and accept the flaws in others
without bashing them with shame and guilt. They call the mistake to the other person's attention in a
way that creates connection and doesn't push him or her away with judgment or harsh words. A formula
that works well for this type of process is "When ___________happened, I felt _______________. My request is ____________."
Life happens to us and through us daily. As easily as we can see another's misstep, we can make our
own in the next moment. Asking for and taking corrective action need not stop our world or send it out
of orbit. With some personal reflective time, good word choices, appropriate timing, and clear intentions,
missteps become like a glass of spilled milk – only a slightly messy event that is easily cleaned-up.
For this Father's Day, let's take Dad off the pedestal, along with the rest of our loved ones and ourselves, and be genuinely real – flaws and all.
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