Inspirations, News & Events
for the week of July 17, 2010
The Dad I Knew
By Rev. Robin Volker Dear Unity Friends,  My dad was a dichotomy of sorts. He grew up uneducated in a
poor and rural area of the Appalachian Mountains of North Georgia. He was the oldest boy in a large family where six girls preceded
him in birth. He was handsome and outgoing with a friendly personality.
Dad grew up just down the road from my mom, who was his age. In their late teens, a romance bloomed, a marriage resulted, and
children were born. With three small children under the age of five, my dad went to war, serving in the Navy in the Philippines where
he faced air attacks by the Japanese and came home broken in spirit and emotion. There was no term "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" back then. There was no treatment plan.
Soon after my dad returned from the war, two true "baby boomers" joined the existing family. Work was hard to find and keep, but North Georgia moonshine made his memories of the air raids
seem less real. Dad became entrenched in all the dramas and throes of active alcoholism as we now know and understand it.  Finally help came to this family so torn and discouraged. It was
not an easy or quick fix. It took years, and those years were full of highs and lows, full of treatment and binges, full of achievements
and set-backs. Eventually sobriety won out, and a new life began for this family that had unexpected added a sixth child – me.
The dad I knew was not a drunk, but a kind and gentle man who made great effort to begin a new life at the
age of 40 and learned two new trades to support his family. He became the town barber and a preacher of
God's word. Dad worked at one or the other these vocations every day. He spoke on Sunday mornings and
Sunday nights. He taught Wednesday Night Bible Study and was lovingly known throughout three counties
as Brother John. I now know how much effort that took, for he spoke and taught without the aid of computers, the internet, or Google.
He worked in his barber shop every day except Wednesday and Sunday. And on Wednesday, my mom
always had a long "honey-do" list for him. Looking back, I realize that Dad was always working at "something," but most of that "something" was in his head, and we couldn't see or appreciate it.  Dad loved people. He loved being with people, caring for people, and
helping people. He was soft and kind and greatly misunderstood by those he loved the most.
I learned a lot from my dad. I learned to be patient. I learned to not
give up. I learned about God. I learned to love others even if I didn't agree with them. Dad taught me more through quiet example rather
than with words. Regrettably, most of what I learned from Dad has become clear to me only since he died. I missed the opportunity tell him what a teacher he was for me.
Dad died a few days before Father's Day in 1998. He spent the last three years of his life in a nursing home.
It was there that I got to know him as the beautiful individual that he really was. He and I spent many hours
sitting together in that little room, watching the birds on the bird feeder out the window, sharing stories about
our lives, talking about my dreams for the future, and just being together … sometimes without words.
Perhaps the greatest gift we can gift our dads on Father's Day is to appreciate and acknowledge a
contribution they have made in our lives. If your dad is still living, maybe this Father's Day, you will tell him what that is. Namaste` Rev. Robin Download a Printable Version of this Inspiration
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